🧴 5 Things You Should Never Do With Gooner Goo 😏
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You got your hands on the jar. You opened it with anticipation. Maybe you already dipped a finger in.
But before you slide too deep, let’s have a little chat. Because as amazing as Gooner Goo is, there are a few things you should never do with it — unless you want to ruin the vibe, the jar, or worse… your sheets.
Let’s break it down:
❌ 1. Microwaving the Goo Like It’s Soup
We know, you want that warm glide. But putting Gooner Goo in the microwave?
Instant regret.
The oils inside are natural and heat-sensitive — meaning they can break down, overheat, or lose their silky texture if nuked. Plus, oils can heat unevenly in the microwave, which could turn your jar into a lava trap.
Better option:
Let the jar sit in your hand or under warm water for 30 seconds. It’ll melt just enough — no napalm needed.
❌ 2. Taste-Testing It Like It’s Dessert
Yes, we know… it smells good enough to eat. But even though the ingredients are skin-safe and natural, Gooner Goo is not food-grade. So unless you’re into chewing on coconut oil with a side of jojoba, keep your mouth where it belongs.
This ain’t whipped cream, baby — it’s for external adventures only.
❌ 3. Leaving It in Your Car Like a Forgotten Chapstick
Gooner Goo will melt like your self-control on hour three of edging.
That cute little jar? Turns into a gooey soup if you leave it in a hot car — and trust us, it will leak, warp, and possibly stain your seat like a very awkward confession.
Golden rule:
Cool, dark places. Just like your favorite fantasies.
❌ 4. Using It with Latex (Big No-No)
Listen closely — because this is actually important for your safety:
Oil + Latex = Disaster.
The oils in Gooner Goo can break down latex quickly, making condoms or dental dams less effective or completely useless. If you’re going from solo to duo (or trio…), switch to non-latex protection or reserve the Goo for solo voyages only.
Protect your pleasure — and your parts.
❌ 5. Keeping It All to Yourself 😈
We get it — Gooner Goo is a personal experience. But some things are just too good to gatekeep.
Whether it's your partner, a curious friend, or your spicy little community group chat, sharing the gooey gospel might unlock their next obsession too.
And who knows…
You might discover a new favorite way to use it that you never even considered. 👀
🛑 Final Slippery Words
Gooner Goo is made to melt minds — not make messes, break condoms, or end up on a spoon.
Use it right, treat it well, and you’ll unlock that signature melt-into-the-moment glide every single time.
Want to share your own “Gooner Goo Don’t” moment?
We’ll keep it anonymous — but we might just feature it in our next edition of Goo Talk.